Lures of a Child Predator, Pt.1

Studies show 17 common lures child predators utilize to entice and groom children. Today we’ll take a look at the first four.

Successful pedophiles have turned child grooming into a science. They use a combination of powerful lures to exploit the emotions and gentle, innocent nature of children. Parents, educators, coaches, and anyone with a position of authority over children should learn and internalize these lures so they can recognize grooming behaviors and intervene before the abuse occurs. The first four lures we’ll discuss today are:

1. The Affection Lure
2. The Pet Lure
3. The Assistance Lure
4. The Authority Lure

The Affection Lure

Most children are abused by someone they know and trust. Pedophiles exploit these relationships and are experts at taking advantage of normal tensions between teenagers and parents as well as youngsters who face issues at home like divorce, substance abuse or neglect. They provide the attention and affection a child may not be receiving at home in a healthy way. As the pedophile progressing through the affection lure they go from being emotionally affectionate to slowly introducing physical affection, beginning with something small like a pat on the back. It evolves into hugs, massages, kisses, sitting on their lap, and eventually progresses to sexual touching, or even sexual intercourse. If you observe an adult being overly affectionate to a child, pay attention to it! Use your gut instinct and watch the relationship a little closer!

The Pet Lure

This is the standard “Help me find my puppy” lure used by the pedophiles in all of the “stranger danger” material we saw growing up. Remind children there IS NO puppy and an adult if fully capable of finding their pet themselves. Pedophiles will also use pets to begin introducing the Affection Lure. Everyone loves being affectionate to a pet! And once the affection threshold is crossed, it’s easier to “snuggle” the pet AND the child, as the child is used to being affectionate with the animal.

The Assistance Lure

This appeals to the helpful nature of children when predators ask them for directions or a helping hand. Tell children that, generally speaking, adults should ask other adults for help. The best defense against this lure is pretending not to hear, then quickly leaving the area OR acknowledging the request and politely stating you’d be happy to “get your mom or dad to help them.” Remind children that no adult should need the help of a child, especially if that help includes leaving the area to a more secluded location.

The Authority Lure

Pedophiles take advantage of their positions as coach, clergy, scout leader, relative, etc. to intimidate or force youngsters into abuse or worse. Stress that it is illegal for any adult to touch a child in any way that makes them uncomfortable. Ensure you’re present at your kids activities so coaches, clergy, relatives, etc. see you involved regularly with your children. Pedophiles, especially those with authority, are cowardly. They will pick an easier target if they see an involved parent who is assertively questioning anything they feel is inappropriate.

Lastly, every pedophile I’ve interrogated has told me this same fact… They will always pick a different target if the child has an important father-figure in their life. Child predators are terrified of involved fathers. As a father, the number one thing you can do to protect your child from a predator is to be involved and seen. Be trusted by your child and keep the lines of communication open. Unfortunately, based on my experience, an involved mother does not have the same effect on a child predator. That doesn’t mean it’s not important and you can’t take steps to protect your child! But, if you’re a single mother, ensure your child has a masculine father-figure in their life, be it a coach, uncle, pastor, or teacher! A trusted male role model of sorts who is willing to be the masculine example.

Conclusion

As we go through the rest of the lures in future blog posts, keep in mind that pedophiles don’t use just a single lure, for the most part. They find and exploit the points in a child’s life most susceptible to attack. They often mix 4 or more lures to slowly erode the child’s reluctance, and eventually gaining trust and authority over the child. Secrecy is generally their best weapon. That’s why keeping lines of communication open with your child is vital!

Next week we’ll cover Lures #5-8! These are the Bribery Lure, the Ego/Fame Lure, the Emergency Lure, and the Fun & Games Lure.